Drugfiend Lesbians From Outer Space

 My name's Dick Dribble and I report all the crime

Homos and unmarried mothers, I nail all the slime
For all those men whose wives' gone cold
Sunday afternoon date with the News of the World

Read the sunday papers
It's a national disgrace
Talkin' 'bout
Drugfiend lesbians from outer space

Editor calls me in, gotta earn my pay
Wants an expose on the youth of today
"They got no respect for priest or MP
They smoke dope hanging out on the street

They got long hair and premarital sex
It's all being run by reds under the bed
They all listen to jazz and rock & roll
Black man's beat got a hold of their soul

National Service would do them some good
You're not a real man till you've tasted blood"
I tell the editor I know nothing about it
He says do what you always do, make up some shit

Got a pile of jazz mags and a bottle of scotch
Needs some inspiration, it's a difficult job
Pound my typewriter throughout the night
Plays a lovely tune while pumping out shite

Got me a story and it's on the front page
Country erupting, fired up with outrage
Bring back hanging, it's the only way
Gotta keep the plebs stuck on the straight